Thursday, January 8, 2009

Get your gigantic hands out of my mouth you brute!

If you have never gone to a female dentist you don't know what you are missing.

All my life I have only had male dentists with big hands in my mouth gaging me. One male dentist had hands so big that he had to but a rubber block between my teeth to get me to stop biting him. Such a baby, if he was afraid of being bitten he should have into a profession that doesn't involve putting ones hands into a place that will bite if he stays there too long. Idiot!


I have to sing praises to my new female dentist with tiny hands! She never complained that I was getting close to biting her and she smelled nice. No onions, no alcohol, no garlic. Her assistant carried on an interesting conversation that kept my mind off of what was going on in my mouth. She even kept me from gagging on my own spit. I told them that when I was very young my dentist told me that I had the most saliva he had ever seen in a kid. He countered that by telling me what beautiful eyes I had. I guess he was afraid he had scared me for life and wanted to give me something nice to remember him by. Then my female dentist said that I was very moist. That made me think of Amy at "My Foil Hat" and that she hates the word "moist"(her blog is listed on the left). I tried hard not to giggle when she said this because there was no way that I could explain why I was giggling and even if I tried I wouldn't be able to make them see just how funny it really was.

I was amazed that she never pinched my lips on my teeth and she didn't even slip, cut me and then try to tell me that she meant to do that and that the stitches will come out next week. No, she didn't do any of that. She worked really hard taking out an old filling that ended up having a cavity under it and putting in a new filling without ever, not once, causing me any pain at all. I usually am "white knuckling" it whenever I am in that chair but with her I was cool and calm.


I go back next Wed. for another filling and I am actually looking forward to it. I liked them so much from my first visit that I took them all some of my home made soap. They said that it smelled so good they wanted to eat it. It was scented with pumpkin pie spice. Yum yum.


This is a picture of the soap. It really isn't fair to give something that looks like candy to office people. Hell, it makes me hungry looking at it.

9 comments:

cyndi said...

Ha, Ha, Ha. I hate dentist. I think that they have to take a class in dentistry about how to make you client gag or bite you. Oh, well. I must know your dentist. Finally, a woman. Don't eat the soap. Love much..

cyndi said...

Oh, yeah. She said moist. I would have pissed in my pants from all the laughter.

Crazy Momma said...

Ha! I will have to try a female dentist.

I also have a girlfriend who hates the word moist...and now I think I am picking up on it.

SabrinaT said...

I wish we did have a female dentist here! The oral surgeon that performed my surgery Monday did a good job. He knocked me out completely for the entire thing. I to have a return visit this week, I just hope they knock me out again!

Body Natural Soap said...

Hmm moist that is to funny. By the way wonderful looking soap. We should get a soap swap going.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

My dentist is a male, but it's the females in his office factory who do all the work.

madpiano said...

ok, where do I find this amazing dentist ??? Willing to travel, lol. My dentist is 1 step short of a horse butcher....

Enchanted said...

Anyone wanting to find her will have to come to North East Missouri.

Oh, and this week she said that I was juicy! LOL

Two fillings in one day and not a bit of pain. She is fantastic.

Robynn's Ravings said...

You are a BLAST! Don't know how you found me but boy I'm glad you did! I'm still laughing after reading some of your posts here. Maybe you have to have "been there - done that" to get it but, I get it. lol My dentist told me I drown him in spit everytime. If he doesn't like spit he went into the wrong business cause I'm full of spit!